Friday, 17 February 2012


I have apparently posted 4 blogs in 2012 on this blog page. The remaining blogs and all 2011 blogs are on the other blog site, also entitled "A Good Life With Dementia". I will in future, endeavour to ensure that all postings are put on the other site. As if life wasnt complicated enough!!

Friday, 10 February 2012


Perseverance isnt always easy, no matter what stage of life one is at. Debilitating, exhausting, frustrating, may rank, in varying degrees, among just a few of it's negative side effects. However, the satisfaction, joy and feeling of well being, resulting from a satisfactory outcome, as a result of persevering and not giving up, far outweighs the negative aspects sometimes associated with the journey to an ultimate goal.

In the dementing state, perserverance is a strange bed fellow. I find it an essential companion, if only, to help one make the most of the journey. This, obviously, is not always easy, whether due to basic seasonal factors, other obstacles that life presents, or personal issues. To be reminded of one's limitations, either as a result  of what one has said, done, or omitted to remember to do, is of itself limiting. An eventual awareness / acknowledgement of omissions, outbursts or other issues, can be painfull from a number of selfish perspectives. However, to be determined to persevere and move on, is, I find, a vital ingredient to enhancing the journey.

No good hoping that it will all go away and things will be the way they were - focusing on this type of dreaming will only lead to increased frustration. If one can, although I appreciate not every reader will be psychologically able, it can be better to leave that place of negativity and loss, as soon as possible and gradually re-focus on seeking out the potential opportunities to enhance one's life and that of one's loving carer. This change of attitude can be uplifting for all concerned and with perserverance can re-establish the ongoing opportunity for a Good Life With Dementia.

I am currently considering the possibility of attending a recently commenced, weekly, half day "Dementia Cafe" in a nearby town. However, I have many questions and issues to sort out in my head and information to obtain, regarding the same, before making an approach. These include the qualifications and experience of the individuals who organise and run the centre, the manner in which the sessions are organised and the varying stage of disease progression, or how far down "Dementia Lane" the other attendees have progressed. WATCH THIS SPACE!


Monday, 16 January 2012


This blog has been prompted by an incident today. A tradesman tried to cover for his own mistake by suggesting that I had given him wrong information. Fortunately, I had my wife as a witness, to confirm that I had provided the correct details regarding our postcode and that the person concerned had written it down incorrectly. He then tried to use this as an excuse for being late. We have been waiting more than a week for the firm concerned to fix our tv ariel. They have been supplying a number of ridiculous reasons for not attending until they finally turned up this morning.

Now it might seem a relatively minor issue to the reader. However, I can assure you that for me, the suggestion that I was to blame as a result of giving incorrect information, was not acceptable. This is a major issue in so far as, there are occassions when I may get certain issues confused or mixed up and I then try to accept and come to terms that this is the case. However, when one knows for certain that one is correct, it is important, I believe, not to succomb to the doubt that others may cast on what you have said, to suit their own purposes. Dont let them lead you to doubt yourself. Believe the one's you can trust, do not let others undermine your dwindling confidence!


Monday, 9 January 2012


The title of today's blog is not just a rallying cry to encourage fellow Dementers and their Carers to have as positive an approach to each day as possible. It is also, a statement that many may agree with and see as being obvious. However, where I am coming from in relation to this matter is that, when one can not operate in the way one was able a few years ago, it is easy and in many cases understandable, for the individual concerned to give up, not only on things that they can no longer undertake, but also on aspects of life that they are both physically and mentally capable of doing. It is therefore, I believe, important, in the first instance, that the Dementer and their Carer make every effort to ensure that they both undertake as many tasks, both physical and mental, as possible.

There may be positive aspects and pleasant surprises, for all concerned, if the positive "Do what you can, while you can" approach is adopted. This positive attitude and outlook should also underpin the approach and attitude of any health professional dealing with and being responsible for people with Dementia. They, like us, should be examining the opportunities that Dementia may provide, however brief, for people with the disease to continue to develop their potential, within the confines / limitations the condition presents. This is not to deny the, current, unstoppable advancement of the disease, but rather, to maximise the potential "good life" for both the Dementee and their Carer.  This "Good Life with Dementia" should be given the opportunity to flourish for as long as it can, to the benefit of all concerned.


Friday, 6 January 2012


To make the most of a dementing mind, I am of the opinion that one should keep it as fresh as possible. Now what do I mean by fresh? I am not quite sure, but I think that it may be a matter of trying to avoid the mind  becoming clogged up by the stresses of not fully understanding what others have said or struggling to find the appropriate words to express oneself. Trying to avoid such situations as far as possible and getting oneself into environs that are conducive to relaxed open thinking. This, I currently find, helps to achieve the clarity and freshness of mind.

A walk in the open spaces, not necessarily alone, can facilitate the above state. Since the commencement of the New Year, after I have been out over the hills with Blossom our dog in the morning for a couple of hours, my wife and I have been going for a short walk along the lanes. This too has helped maintain clarity of thought through the relaxed, enjoyable manner of the walk.

I have noted that, in recent years, I have found it relatively easy to clear my head of any dross that might float in. I suppose that maybe one of the advantages of a deteriorating memory, is the fact that out goes both the rough as well as the smooth!